The saying goes hindsight is always 20/20…
Almost two years ago I wrote my intentions for writing this blog were so I’d have a place to come back to. And on this cold night in January, I’ve come back. If the me I was two years ago looked at the me I am tonight…I’m not so sure she’d like what she sees.
I was so brave and I was so in love with the world and its whimsy. I was brave to write truthfully and honestly about my faith and my joy and my fear. So brave that I got on a bus at 6am to spend a day in the snow just me and my skis, I took bike rides for no reason at all and let myself wander to my hearts content, I wrote about my ex, threw myself onto a bungee trampoline made for children 3 times smaller than me…I was enchanted by life. Mesmerized by God’s love and his plan for me, so eager to play and to grow.
This past weekend I was in Orlando, FL at Disneyworld. About 3/4 of the way through Pirates of the Caribbean, our boat stopped. I was unfortunately stuck listening to “Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirates Life for Me” for 20 minutes before the lights came on and we were evacuated. We were lead out a side door where all of the back stage unattractive machinery was kept and then given a fast pass as compensation for the inconvenience. The magic was lost.
I have somehow stopped my boat and turned all of the lights on on this ride called life. I’ve let pressures of graduating and joining the big girl world and the physically and emotionally demanding responsibly of being a student-athlete and captain of my team, suck all the magic out of life. My fast pass through this year has robbed me of adventure, wonder, and dreaming.
I want to experience whimsy again. And I’ll start with LOVE…big, overbearing, exclamatory, compelling love.